Tears of Regret
by Anlanther
Summary: I sniffed one last time and tried to calm myself down. It was a bit easier this time with his arms around me, but it still didn't stop the tears from coming down. "I-I want m-my father."


**Tears of Regret**

I looked down at my non-breathing father. I touched the glass separating the both of us. I felt my hazel coloured eyes grow wet but none of my tears ever went down. It seems that I had used them all up when my mother passed away.

I stared at his closed eyelids, thinking about what happened to him.

* * *

_My father, brother and I were in his car and were driving home from a dinner with one of his business partners. It was raining and my brother, Yoichi, and my father were talking about something that seemed to be important but I couldn't care less. I wasn't really that close to my father, unlike to my brother. I was actually closer to my mother but as fate had it; my mother died 8 years ago. I was only 6 then and I was really heart broken when she passed away._

_She passed away a day after my brother was born. She just lost too much blood after giving birth to Yoichi. I couldn't blame my brother for my mother's death. I'm not one of those people who blame someone for being born and killing their mother._

_I stared out of the window and watched some of the droplets of rain slide down the glass but I quickly lost interest when I saw the car driving towards the railing._

"_Izumi!" I called my father. I was never confortable calling him 'father' or 'dad'._

_He quickly turned his head to face the road and started to turn the wheel to the left. If the road weren't wet, we would've been back on track but since it wasn't, the car slid sharply to the left and hit the wall on the other side._

_If it weren't for my seatbelt and for the soft seat in front of me, I would've been unconscious and have blood trickling down on the side of my head._

_I quickly turned to see if my brother was okay but I found him staring back at me._

"_Are you okay?" I asked him. I saw him nod and heard a small moan coming from one of the front seats._

_My brother and I took our seatbelts off to see what was going on. I gasped at the sight in front of me and I stumbled back onto the seats behind me._

_When I got back to my senses, I stuffed my hand into my pocket, fumbling with the contents inside it until I found my cell phone to call the ambulance._

I turned to look at my brother and found a man wearing a suit behind him.

"Come with me." The man said before my vision started to blur.

* * *

_I was now eating breakfast in my brother and I's 'new' apartment. _

_A lot has changed ever since Izumi died 2 years ago. When he died, he left us everything he had but that still wasn't enough to support Yoichi and me. There was our school found, our electricity and water bill and those other things we have to pay for if we wanted to make a living and since we didn't have an adult to support us, I had to work 3 different part time jobs a week. We also had to cell our own house when I didn't earn enough money._

_Our new apartment was much smaller than the place where we used to live. Both the kitchen and the living room were together and we had only one bathroom, 1 bedroom and a little storeroom._

_We hardly had any furniture. The only things we had were a closet, couch, desk and computer that Izumi used to own._

_I ate the last of my breakfast and went to the kitchen to put my bowl away. I stared at the second bowl in the sink. 'Yoichi must have left early.' I thought as I looked at the clock in the living room. 6:30am._

_I decided to walk around the apartment since I was still very early for school. I looked all over the apartment to see if there was anything I needed to clean until I came across a white piece of paper on the bedroom floor._

"_Brother must have dropped it while going out." I muttered to myself as I bent down to look at it. It was blank so I turned to the other side of the piece of paper. I inhaled sharply, lost my balance and fell onto the cold white tiles of the floor. Small images of my mother, Izumi and I flooded into my head. All the photos were of us together and having fun._

_I looked at the photo again. The picture was taken right before Yoichi was born and was with me lying beside my mother with Izumi laughing beside her. We just had lunch with our friends, the Hyuugas, and were chatting about the silly things that happened when we were with them._

_Suddenly, loads of pictures of Izumi appeared in my head. All the memories I didn't remember him doing. All of those memories were of him after doing something for the family, him constantly trying to get my attention and me always backing away from him._

_The feeling of guilt suddenly entered my heart and my body shivered because of that. I felt my fingers tremble and I felt my eyes grow wet because of the tears._

"_D-d-dad?" I stuttered to myself. That word felt so new coming out of my mouth._

_I closed my eyes shut as hard as I could and felt my tears going down my cheek._

"Dad!" I shouted.

I quickly opened my eyes and found myself in an unfamiliar bedroom. I shivered because of the dream. I shock my head. 'No, that wasn't just a dream.'

I felt my chest grow heavy again as I remembered the images.

Most of the dream was actually a distant memory that I tried to forget for the last 3 years, while the other last part of it either never happened at that time period or didn't exist.

Me finding that photo didn't exist but the pictures that came into my head had happened more than 13 years ago.

"Mnph." I moaned as my head started to replay all the events that were shown in the pictures.

My breathing rate started to rise as each memory played itself. My breathing was now very uneven and I felt my eyes being flooded with tears. I tried to calm myself down but I eventually broke down when my mind started to play the last event.

_It was when Izumi gave me my first phone. I was 5 and was going to turn 6. He blocked me from going into my room, smiled, patted my head, gave me the box, and started explaining what I should and should not do with it. The phone was a very basic type but it was good enough for my 5-year-old brain. It also had a long piece of string attached onto the end of the phone so I could put it around my neck._

_When he was done, I smiled and thanked him and proceeded to walk to my room until he stopped me and started to tap his cheek, asking for a kiss. I stared at him for a while until my face started to turn red. I quickly shook my head, feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed._

_Instead of him continuing to tap his cheek, he just stopped, hugged me and went into his own bedroom to see my mother._

After I remembered that event, I did something that surprised everyone in the house and one of those many people was me.

_I ran out of the room in search of my dead father._

I went into all the rooms I could find and shouted "Father!" in each and every one of them. Some maids in the room even stared at me with a weird expression on their faces when they saw my appearance. I ignored them, nevertheless.

I kept doing this until I finally found the living room.

"Dad!" I shouted, trying to wipe away my tears. I heard something moving on the couch. I turned and found my brother staring at me with a surprised and confused look. I guess that's the facial expression a boy would make when they see their elder sister crying in front of them for the first time.

I called for my father once more until I started to sob even more. I was about to shout 'dad!' again until I felt something warm wrap around both my shoulders. I turned around to see who or what it was and found Natsume's head resting on the end of my shoulder.

_Natsume Hyuuga._

He was both my childhood friend and my current boyfriend. He was the guy who forced my brother and I to leave our small apartment and live with him 2 days ago, so I wouldn't have to overwork myself to get money to pay the rent.

His face was facing me but his crimson red eyes were covered by his bangs. "Mikan," he said bluntly "stop."

I sniffed one last time and tried to calm myself down again. It was a bit easier this time with his arms around me, but it still didn't stop the tears from coming down.

"I-I want m-my father." I mumbled to him.

I saw him give me one of his rare smiles and felt him let go of me. I stared at him, confused, as I tried to steady my breathing.

He started to bend down and picked me up as if we were newly weds. I squeaked in surprise as he started to walk towards his bedroom.


End file.
